Pretenses #44

steven returns from college because he has allergies - total geek-gasm! we're off to a good start with #44. i will admit that of all the boys from svh i crush on steven the most. not only because i would one day like to marry into the wakefield family (it could still happen), but he's just so darn cute. especially when he has allergies. put that boy in a pair of rayban frames, have him not shave for a week and i'd consider him perfect. 

right, so a whole book about steven's allergies although quite enjoyable for a person like myself apparently required more. so, here we have a plot which is quite boring really, compared to cocaine over doses and being arrested for murder. it's really just about some silly anonymous love letters written to steven on some fancy floral stationary... except that it's HIS DEAD GIRLFRIEND'S stationary. OMG! so steven flips out, and is like - omg what is happening with this stationary? 

little does he know that cara, his alive girlfriend, has been taking relationship advice from jessica, who ps - has never actually really had a boyfriend unless you count sam who like died after their first date or something. jessica is like - your relationship needs more mystery or steven will get bored,  and cara is all like - yeah you are right jessica, because you know SO MUCH about relationships.

meanwhile, back at the wakefield ranch this new chic abbie has turned up to draw comics and be best friends with everyone. everyone likes her until like page 121 when they all go nuts about her trying to steal steven and writing mental letters to him so they kick her out and she's like - i didn't write those letters! SCREW YOU WAKEFIELDS!

blah blah some other stuff happens, everyone finds out that [SPOILER] cara (the alive one) wrote the letters and everyone is like HAHAHAHAH! hugs, makes up and then goes to a lakers game. 

probably only slightly less enjoyable than a whole book on steven's allergies, but for those who are interested it turns out he's allergic to mould, dust and grass.

love letters #17

ok SO not the best sweet valley book i've ever read. pretty boring really. compared to cheerleaders taking overdoses and drownings in france this was pretty tame. ridiculously tame. who wrote this? not francine pascal for sure. i'm assuming that the ghost writer responsible for this fiasco got kicked off the team, or conveniently shot in a hostage situation or drowned in a mysteriously leaking boat in the south of france...


poor caroline pearce, she's got red hair AND she doesn't have a boyfriend, kill yourself! oh finally a svh character i can relate to! WRONG! caroline pearce is an annoying little so and so who ruins everyone lives with her gossip mongering. i can't stand a book with such a stupid protagonist. little caz makes up that she has a boyfriend because no one likes her, and it TOTALLY WORKS! everyone wants to be her friend for like five minutes until everyone realises that she's made him up. but seriously, we've all had boyfriends we've made up, like that's not even that bad. in the end [SPOILER] elizabeth feels sorry for caroline with her red hair and all and so she gets one of todd's mates to pretend to be this guy she made up... of course she like comes clean at the end, because they always do in these american things, but the guy that was pretending to be the guy she made up actually wants to like mack out with her anyway and all the blonde girls are hells jealous. 


so what's the moral of the story? don't make up hot boyfriends or you might end up with a hot boyfriend? oh who's that knocking? oh is that my new hot boyfriend come over with roses and a puppy to take me on a date to france in a helicopter?